{"id":7919,"date":"2019-01-21T11:49:46","date_gmt":"2019-01-21T19:49:46","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.knowledgecity.com\/blog\/?p=7919"},"modified":"2024-09-17T09:02:03","modified_gmt":"2024-09-17T16:02:03","slug":"emotionally-draining-work-friends","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.knowledgecity.com\/blog\/emotionally-draining-work-friends\/","title":{"rendered":"6 Steps to Handle Emotionally Draining Work Friends"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Work friends can <a href=\"https:\/\/hbr.org\/2017\/08\/having-work-friends-can-be-tricky-but-its-worth-it\">increase<\/a> job satisfaction and productivity, making you less likely to quit. However, work friends can have distinct <a href=\"https:\/\/www.researchgate.net\/publication\/323220675_Friends_Without_Benefits_Understanding_the_Dark_Sides_of_Workplace_Friendship\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">downsides<\/a>, as well. Too much emotional involvement can severely handicap your ability to do your job. Consequently, setting psychological boundaries is extremely important and need to be established in a way that doesn\u2019t hurt your coworker\u2019s feelings.<\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/www.knowledgecity.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/10\/priscilla-du-preez-623040-unsplash.jpg\"><img loading=\"lazy\" class=\"aligncenter wp-image-6025 size-large\" src=\"https:\/\/www.knowledgecity.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/10\/priscilla-du-preez-623040-unsplash-1024x683.jpg\" alt=\"Group of joyful students collaborating on a project in a library with laptops.\" width=\"1024\" height=\"683\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.knowledgecity.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/10\/priscilla-du-preez-623040-unsplash-1024x683.jpg 1024w, https:\/\/www.knowledgecity.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/10\/priscilla-du-preez-623040-unsplash-600x400.jpg 600w, https:\/\/www.knowledgecity.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/10\/priscilla-du-preez-623040-unsplash-300x200.jpg 300w, https:\/\/www.knowledgecity.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/10\/priscilla-du-preez-623040-unsplash-768x512.jpg 768w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 1024px) 100vw, 1024px\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<p>Increasingly, emotional intelligence is being recognized as critical to professional success. <a href=\"https:\/\/hbr.org\/2017\/02\/emotional-intelligence-has-12-elements-which-do-you-need-to-work-on\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Empathy<\/a> is a large component of this, helping you connect meaningfully with other to forge beneficial relationships. However, sometimes these emotional connections get the best of us, and we can get so involved in our work friends that our professional energy and productivity suffers. If you feel like your work friends are dragging you down on the job, here are some steps to deal with emotionally draining work friends.<\/p>\n<h3>1. Identify the Signs of Emotionally Draining Work Friends<\/h3>\n<p>If you are consistently neglecting your work to help a work friend, it\u2019s a clear <a href=\"https:\/\/hbr.org\/2019\/01\/what-to-do-when-a-work-friendship-becomes-emotionally-draining\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">sign <\/a>that you may need to make some changes. Also, if you\u2019re feeling like you\u2019re investing more in your friend\u2019s life than your own or like it\u2019s a nonstop emotional rollercoaster, these could also be signs that your relationship is unhealthy. Unfortunately, there\u2019s no clear line in the sand. However, if you answer \u201cno\u201d to any of these questions, then it may be time to consider some changes:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>Is this friendship helping me grow professionally?<\/li>\n<li>Are we putting forth the same effort?<\/li>\n<li>Am I comfortable expressing feelings and thoughts that are different than my friend\u2019s?<\/li>\n<li>Am I objective regarding this person\u2019s issues?<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/www.knowledgecity.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/01\/sadness-3434515_1920.jpg\"><img loading=\"lazy\" class=\"aligncenter size-large wp-image-7921\" src=\"https:\/\/www.knowledgecity.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/01\/sadness-3434515_1920-1024x683.jpg\" alt=\"work friends\" width=\"1024\" height=\"683\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.knowledgecity.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/01\/sadness-3434515_1920-1024x683.jpg 1024w, https:\/\/www.knowledgecity.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/01\/sadness-3434515_1920-600x400.jpg 600w, https:\/\/www.knowledgecity.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/01\/sadness-3434515_1920-300x200.jpg 300w, https:\/\/www.knowledgecity.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/01\/sadness-3434515_1920-768x512.jpg 768w, https:\/\/www.knowledgecity.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/01\/sadness-3434515_1920.jpg 1920w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 1024px) 100vw, 1024px\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<h3>2. Don\u2019t Play the Blame Game<\/h3>\n<p>If you find that your relationship with one of your work friends is detrimental to you, it\u2019s normal to have an emotional reaction and blame the other person. However, at the end of the day, the only person\u2019s behavior you can actually change is your own. Consequently, it is far more empowering to focus on your role in the unhealthy dynamic. Try reflecting on what initially drew you to the friendship. This can help you sort out your current relationship and help you to avoid making the same mistakes in the future.<\/p>\n<h3>3. Change the Narrative<\/h3>\n<p>It\u2019s hard to tell friends, even work friends, that you need to spend less time with them. In rare instances, you can be direct. However, generally, you\u2019re going to need to gradually shift the way you interact with this person. Replace physical time together with phone calls and then shift toward emails. Creating physical space will tone down the intensity of the relationship. Also, try to keep conversations about work.<\/p>\n<h3>4. Limit the Scope of Your Interactions with Work Friends<\/h3>\n<p>Establish some <a href=\"https:\/\/sloanreview.mit.edu\/article\/how-to-make-better-friends-at-work\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">boundaries <\/a>by identifying a limited scope of areas you are willing to address with colleagues in your interactions. Then, help people take action in other areas by connecting them with someone who can help them further.<\/p>\n<h3>5. Stick to Your Guns<\/h3>\n<p>It\u2019s going to take time to adjust to a new equilibrium, and your work friend might not willingly go along with your new boundaries. However, it\u2019s imperative to not jump back in just because your friend is pushing you. If work friends are making it more difficult, keep in mind that the unpleasantness will be short-term and far less costly than the long-term emotional toll of not sticking to some boundaries.<\/p>\n<h3>6. Stay Focused on the Bottom Line<\/h3>\n<ul>\n<li>\n<h4>Do<\/h4>\n<ul>\n<li><em>Look for signs that work friends are draining you emotionally and hurting your work performance.<\/em><\/li>\n<li><em>Focus on your role in the unhealthy dynamic.<\/em><\/li>\n<li><em>Gradually shift interactions so that you are communicating less with them.<\/em><\/li>\n<li><em>Help them connect with another resource to help with their problems.<\/em><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<\/li>\n<li>\n<h4>Don\u2019t<\/h4>\n<ul>\n<li><em>Play the blame game.<\/em><\/li>\n<li><em>Cut off all communication. It\u2019s impossible and unpleasant which means the changes will not stick.<\/em><\/li>\n<li><em>Let them pull you back in.<\/em><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Work friends can increase job satisfaction and productivity, making you less likely to quit. However, work friends can have distinct downsides, as well. Too much emotional&#8230;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":5,"featured_media":8147,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"content-type":""},"categories":[4001,120,126],"tags":[2227,2185,3059,3057,3061,1829,1831,2229,2863,3055,647,3053],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v17.9 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>Work friends are important for job satisfaction but so are boundaries.<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"If you feel like your work friends are dragging you down on the job, here are some steps to deal with emotionally draining work friends.\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.knowledgecity.com\/blog\/emotionally-draining-work-friends\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta 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